ROOTS & BRANCHES

I’ve often said, “We are all products of our experiences.”

Which is my way of saying that to understand many things about a person, you need to think about their background in a multitude of ways.

This all occurred to me in thinking about family traditions as we approach the holidays.

And what spurred that to mind? The fact that my girlfriend Terri and I would be “just the two of us” for this Thanksgiving.

Now as an only child, I was never used to crowds—not at home, not on vacation, and not on most holidays.

But Thanksgiving Day was an exception … there was always a cast of several people not from our nuclear family around the table.

A constant was my cousin Elaine. Her father (my dad’s brother) had been killed in a farming accident and her mother had remarried. She cherished her relationship with both of my parents.

Over the years various people related to her were frequent additions to the guest list. Other times people with my work (whose family lived states away) were part of the mix.

I recall my grandmother (father’s mother, Dora Annie Etchberger Beidler) while she still lived with us taking charge of cutting up the leftover turkey while my dad, myself and any other men would watch a football game (Some traditions morph … I’ve lost interest in football and now I cut up the leftovers!).

And then there’s the “potato filling,” which was a staple for holiday meals in my parents’ household but not something appetizing to me because of the onion content. Unless, well, it was one of those times my mother would make a small batch of onion-less filling.

There are also many memories of times when conversation would “go around the table” with one question or another, such as who was the first U.S. president people remembered? My grandmother always “won” that one—she recalled seeing the portrait of William McKinley (elected to his first term in 1896) on a calendar.

I so wish I had been interested in genealogy in those days growing up since there are so many family stories I could have learned.

Instead I have been left with many half-formed memories of narratives big and small.

Likely Terri and I will be trading those hazy anecdotes during our time together on Thanksgiving.

But what about the rest of you with larger gatherings? Here are a few suggestions:

• Record an oral history with some or all of the family elders in attendance would be great.
• Break out some old family photos and see if you can get everyone identified and labeled.
• Have a few DNA kits ready if your family is so inclined.
• If your dinner’s in a family homestead, spend some time inventorying what’s in the attic.